Reflection

sitting in my almost empty apartment thinking about how fast the semester has flown by. realizing that time sometimes goes faster than we want it to . it makes me realize that you have to love the little things in life or in a sense "step back and smell the roses" I still remember the first day i moved in, Whitney and i rushed to get the door open and stood in the doorway for a second excited about our new place, as we walked around it just seemed like any other apartment, nothing special, another place i was going to be sleeping at for 4 months, nothing i would ever consider home. i thought that no matter how much time i spent in this place and no matter how many pictures i put up on my walls or how many times i made cookies or my moms cinnamon rolls, this place would never feel like home. I was so happy to be outta my parents house once again and live by my own rules, but something didn't feel right, it was an empty feeling, maybe the realization that i was over a thousand miles away from home, or the face that i was trying to fix my broken heart and running away seemed like the best solution. My mind was racing, i had been up for a good 48 hours and yet i wasn't tired and i couldn't figure out why. I brought all my stuff inside and dumped all my clothing on my bedroom floor, as i was hanging stuff up and folding everything neatly, i told myself that no matter what, i need to stay positive this semester, the only way i was going to be happy was to make myself happy. I got all my stuff put away and was anxious for the other girls to move in. I came down to my living room and turned the TV on and laid on the floor, curled up in a ball, and fell asleep. it was probably the most amazing sleep i have ever had in my entire life, you know what I'm talking about, the one where you wake up in the same position you fell asleep in realizing that you drooled all over your pillow, you dreamed of nothing, your head is clear, and you feel like you can accomplish anything. Whitney and i were here for 2 days by ourselves until the other girls moved in. we quickly became close with all the girl, hung out together, partied, and i started to realize that my goal for the semester of being happy was going to be achieved. I was anxious for classes to start, for "my life to begin" in a sense, and as the semester started and my life got busy again, i realized that i was the only person that could make myself happy. The school week went by, and the weekend came, i met new people, new guys, started to feel like i was getting back into the swing of opening up to people, i made sure that no matter how i was feeling inside i would always always always have that smile on my face, even if it wasn't real i would fake it until it was. i started enjoying things again, all the bonfires and rock climbing and dirt biking a four-wheeling and swimming and so on and so forth became my new escape. i was truly becoming happy again. The semester continued and i realized that i had so many things about myself that i wanted to change, they weren't huge things, but things that for a while i had been annoyed with and each day i made a conscious effort to improve those things that annoyed me. the semester has almost come to an end. i have one more final to do and i am officially done with my freshman year of college. time flies by so fast and i have realized that its not ever going to slow down, so take every second and make the most of it. don't be afraid to put yourself out there, to possibly get your heartbroken, to fall in love, and so on and so forth, because when you put your everything into something the outcome will be worth your while. my apartment now feels like a home, i am sad to be leaving Idaho, i never in a million years thought i would say that, yes, i am excited to be going home. i miss my family and friends, but I'm also going back to the place where i have experienced the most disappointment in my life and that's something that i am trying to comprehend and handle. i know that my family will always be there for me no matter what and that my parents will always  support my decisions, but i also know that i have a lot to work on to get to the place i wanna be. the sky is the limit, reach for the stars.

Little Miss

Little miss done on love
Little miss, I give up
Little miss, I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore
Little miss checkered dress
Little miss, one big mess
Little miss, I'll take less when I always give so much more

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay It'll be alright again, I'm okay

Little miss, do your best
Little miss, never rest
Little miss, be my guest, I'll make more anytime that it runs out
Little miss, you'll go far
Little miss, hide your scars
Little miss, who you are is so much more than you like to talk about

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay

Hold on
Hold on, you are loved
Are loved...

Little miss, brand new start
Little miss, do your part
Little miss, big old heart beats wide open and she's ready now for love

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
I'm okay!

Country Music Kinda Mood

the past week has been the most stressful outta my entire semester here at BYU-I. With homework and drama ive found my escape in country music, i get in these moods where i cant and wont listen to anything but country music.....today.....yupp, its the day. my playlist consists of these

Tomorrow by Chris Young
Dirt Road Anthem by Jason Aldean
Honey Bee Blake Shelton
A Little Bit Stronger By Sara Evans
Perfectly Good Heart By Taylor Swift
Getting You Home By Chris Young
Pray For You By Jaron and the Long Road to Love
You'll Think of Me By Keith Urban
All I want to Do By Sugarland
Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not By Thompson Square
Country Girl (Shake it For me Girl) By Luke Bryan
Stay By Sugarland
I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes By Dierks Bentley
Concrete Angel By Martina McBride
If I Die Young By The Band Perry
Little Miss By Sugarland
Stuck Like Glue By Sugarland
What Do You Want By Jerrod Niemann
American Honey By Lady Antebellum
Red Light By David Nail
Stuck Like Glue By Sugarland
Invisible By Taylor Swift
Everytime I Hear Your Name By Keith Anderson

Lemme just say....im so happy :]

Perspective...its bigger than you think

My Amazing Family - minus Daddy and Kaeleigh <3

Being away from home has given me a greater appreciation for my mom. I have learned that living in the "real world" isn't an easy thing. I miss the ease of living at home, knowing that when i get home its gonna be clean, i miss the ease of having my parents pay for things for me and not have not worry about money, i got into the habit when i was home of getting whatever i wanted and not worrying about how much money i was spending, my mom always told me "Aubrie, you NEED to learn that you cant always have everything you want" I of course wasnt going to listen, when working 30 hours a week at American Eagle Outfitters and Aerie, and making a pretty decent income, it was easy to get that pair of jeans I wanted, or those shoes that I 'had to have' but being out at college and depending on the income i have saved is far from what i have been used to. Learning that i dont need everything 'new thing' and realizing that I have more than enough to live by has been one of the things I have really learned to appreciate. I used to have to leave my wallet at home because i knew that I would easily drop $100 on a pair of new jeans, as the semester has gone on I have realized that I dont 'need' that new pair of jeans or the 'have to have' shoes, I am more than happy with everything I have. I am so thankful to have a mother that stressed the value of savings, i have been very lucky in the sense that i havent had to take out any student loans and i am so thankful that my parents have pushed me to realize that school should be the number one thing in my life right now. I have also learned that my family should be the number 1-7 in my life :] I have the best parents ever, they want nothing but perfection for me and they will do anything to make sure i get that, i have the best friend in the entire world; my 21 year old, older brother, Josh,

 hes serving his mission for The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints in the San Bernardino area, i cold not be more proud of him. December 20th 2011couldn't come fast enough! I have 2 amazing little sisters; Makenna who is 15 and just finished her freshman year in highschool,

 i am so proud of everything she has accomplished thus far in her life & Kaeleigh...my 13 year old perfect little angel,

 Then theres Braeden,

 hes the most energetic 12 year old in the entire world. I could not be more thankful and appreciative of my family. i dont know what I would do without them. Its taken me a while to take a couple steps back from my own life and realize how much they truly care...but I will forever and always be so grateful for my family <3 I will forever and always be daddys little princess and i woldnt have it any other way. i am so thankful to have my dad in my daily life. i may be thousands of miles away but hes always in my heart.